presentiment
by clairebxrton
Summary: she wished that she could tell judge that this entire alliance was a mistake, that they were all going to die and just like her mother's death, it would be his fault, but she couldn't. / fem sanji. canon au. cross posted to ao3. part 1 of the shakedown series.


summary:She wished that she could tell Judge that this entire alliance was a mistake, that they were all going to die and just like her mother's death, it would be his fault, but she couldn't.

presentiment  
[pri-zen-tuh-muh nt]  
noun  
1\. a feeling or impression that something is about to happen, especially something evil; foreboding.

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It seemed that with every breath she made, she felt less and less confident about the entire plan. Surely, they were going to fail and with the death of her and her family, the entire Vinsmoke family would die along with her crew mates who had risked their lives coming to save her? Her heart pounded as she waited inside her dressing room, her ears straining to hear anything but the sound of her father pacing back and forth out there. Big Mom had been so _generous_ to allow him to walk her down the aisle but he was not to see her before she was given the a-okay to leave her room.

Maybe she was able to convince Brook last night when she had pulled him away from the others to tell him that if the plan was seemingly falling apart, it was his job to get the others out of there without her. Hell, she thought as her fingers played with the edges of her sleeves, maybe they had already been caught and killed and Big Mom was just waiting until she had already been forcibly married to her son to kill Sanju and her family. That was the problem with being out of the loop; you had no idea if you were going to live or die.

At the sound of a trumpet and one of Big Mom's daughters opening the door, Sanju stepped forward, her body surging off the chair she had been sitting on while waiting. Her father stood just out the door, face passive as ever even as she stepped close and grabbed his forearms.

She would forever hate the man who had a hand in killing her beloved mother all because he wished to regain the North Blue again, but at the moment, he was the only thing she had to lean on so she wouldn't fall over. Her breath quickened as they walked the hall, getting closer and closer to the place that would be their graves and for a second, she wished that she could tell Judge that this entire alliance was a mistake, that they were all going to die and just like her mother's death, it would be his fault, but she couldn't. Her throat seemed to close up at the thought of it and maybe…

Maybe Reiju wasn't wrong when she said that their family deserved to die out here. And while Sanju hated the idea of dying before finding the All Blue, she was willing to admit that in order to atone for the sins of her family, she'd be amendable to dying. She let out a sigh as they continued to walk, listening to their steps echoing off the near empty walls.

She hated doubting Luffy, she hated doubting her crew, but she had always had a negative streak in her; courtesy of a family that screamed failure at you for ever action you managed to do. Yes, she had seen – and been part of – her crew's more insane actions, declaring war against the government because of what they had done to Robin being one of the more insane moments, but there was a little bit of her that screamed at her, saying that half her crew up against a yonko was a preposterous idea. One that she could barely wrap her head around.

The door to the grand hall opened, Sanju saw the man at the end of the aisle, a priest in front of him and she paused. Judge stood stock still in the doorway, his eyes glossing over while music played, announcing their entrance. Was he feeling bad? Could he feel bad or was this pause an act? Did he feel _anything_ at the fact that he was forcing her to marry into such a crazy woman's family or was his thoughts directly on the throne of the North Blue that he hoped for?

It mattered not as the brief second of hesitation ended and she was being walked down the aisle again. Looking up at her father, since all facts considering, it was a better than looking at her – looking at that horrid woman's son.

They're going to kill us, y'know, she thought as she stared up at the man she had so desperately wanted approval from. Big Mom only agreed to this marriage for the technology you've developed, not to help you.

I'm going to escape from here with my crew and leave you to die.

Okay, I won't leave you to die, but I'm not going back with you.

… Why wasn't I good enough to be your daughter back then, but now I am? Why is it when we're all about to die you want me back? Do you regret anything you did to me?

"I don't want to do this." She muttered lightly, blue eyes focused ahead. It didn't matter a part of her thought, because she wasn't going to, Luffy was going to save her. Her crew was going to save her. But at the same time, the little girl who just wanted love reared her weak and ugly head and banged against the bars that held her.

Judge looked down at her quickly before facing ahead again. "You will do what you're told." He said after a second.

I hate you.

The end of the aisle was there, her future husband stood tall and Sanju did the only thing she knew how to do, stand straight and never bend. The Priest spoke, her father drifted away to sit with them and she let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. When this was all over, she was going to call that shitty geezer and thank him for doing something that most people wouldn't; be a father to a poor girl he didn't know.

Blue eyes ahead, wait for the mark. Her trust in her crew had to stay forefront. They would save her, they'd beat Big Mom, escape and go back to having adventures. Luffy was to be the pirate king and that wasn't a title you could take with you to the grave. Hands grabbed, smile on face. The Priest kept talking, saying vows and Sanju wondered if maybe she had overheard Pudding and her sister's conversation wrong and the wedding was going to be real and she'd be forced to become the wife of a Charlotte and…

 _bang_

She dodged.

* * *

A/N: Random drabble is random and comes from me daydreaming while about to doze off and go to sleep. This was written in about a half hour or so, which means any mistakes are my own and as such please don't kill me. I hope you all like it and I would love to hear what you think about it.


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